20 ways to kill Neji Hyuuga
by The Ten-tailed Jinchuriki
Summary: Tenten, an assassin, has been assigned to kill Neji Hyuuga, a big-shot Hollywood star. Assassins are supposed to be quick and fast; Tenten is not. There is also a requirement that she has to kill him using Ramen. A light-hearted story about Tenten trying to kill Neji in 20 different ways.


Chapter 1

Tenten stealthily crept up on the old man. Her footsteps were as light as a feather, and she tiptoed across the road. Keeping an eye on her victim, she scrutinised his movements.

"Boss, clear!" she whispered excitedly into her walkie-talkie.

"WHAT?!"

She frowned in annoyance. "The coast is clear, Nara-taichou."

"WHAT?!"

Taking a deep breath, she screamed into the walkie-talkie. "THE COAST IS CLEAR, YOU IDIOT."

"Why didn't you just say so?" Shikamaru yawned from the other side. "I wonder whether you can do it."

Tenten grinned. "This is my mission as an assassin. Of course, without a doubt, I will accompli—"

"Young lady, did you say you are an assassin?" the old man stared into her face. It seemed that he had heard the noise and came over.

Tenten froze and stayed rooted to her spot, flabbergasted. "No no! I am an ass! Yea, I am an ass! You know, the donkey."

"You certainly don't look like a donkey to me! I mean, you have eyes, a nose and a mouth. How can you be a donkey? Are you a magical creature?"

She mentally face-palmed herself. No wonder the client wanted to kill the old man.

"Sure. I will show you a magic trick," Tenten said cheerfully and pulled up her sleeves. Then, she grabbed a dagger and slashed the man. "In a few minutes, you will be going to heaven."

Blood dripped from the dagger as she withdrew it from the old man's stomach. This guy's name was Orochimaru. Apparently, he was a drug ring leader of some sort, and he was planning to make trouble sooner or later.

However, more than not, she was a bit disappointed that the 'super-strong-and-smart' drug leader wasn't like what she thought he was.

Grabbing a miniature bomb from her pocket, Tenten cut open one of his arteries and placed it in. Fire always needs oxygen to react. This way, other criminals would not discover how he had been killed.

Just then, her walkie-talkie buzzed.

"Tenten? Tenten?" Shikamaru called out.

"Yea?"

"Come back now. I have just received news that one of Orochimaru's guys was nearby. He might come and check out the commotion."

"Over," she finished abruptly.

* * *

"Man, I am so damn tired," Ino yawned and stepped into the headquarters. Seeing Shikamaru, she greeted him. "Yo."

"Yo. How was the mission?" the pineapple-haired guy asked.

"Accomplished," Ino beamed and slammed a stack of papers down onto his table. "Seriously, how could that be a mission? It was just stealing some papers from this corrupted guy."

Shikamaru frowned. "Deal with it. Troublesome woman."

"Yea yea, whatever," the blonde waved it off and plopped onto the white sofa. "We have been getting so many boring missions lately. I wonder what Naruto is doing."

"He isn't really our friend anymore; he's our chief."

"So says the man who got drunk with Naruto last night and sang songs," she replied cheekily. "Maybe we are in some deep shit with the police."

"Ino, we are the police," the genius said incredulously. "We are assassins trained by the government. We are the police. Troublesome."

Pouting, Ino grabbed a sweet from the table and tore the wrapper. "I meant, the official police. We aren't really police, you know."

"I hope not. It will just make things here more troublesome than it already is," he groaned and sat down opposite of Ino. He flipped through the mission list, and prepared to assign her another mission.

The steel doors of the headquarters opened, and a girl with long wavy hair walked in. "Hey, guys. Ino, you are early."

The blonde grinned widely at the sight of her friend. "Tenten! I missed you. We haven't seen each other for two months!"

Tenten smiled. "I just finished my mission too. Why are you here?"

"Same reason. Maybe we could go out shopping together!" Ino squealed.

"Yea! I really want a break after all that missions," the brown-haired girl mused. "Unless Shikamaru has a mission for us, of course."

Despite the girls' chattering, Shikamaru remained focused on the mission list. Naruto had called him this morning, and said that there was an urgent mission that would require all the East's forces.

For now, he had to be left alone to think and plan it out.

"You guys can go out and shop or whatever. Get out of my office now, troublesome women," he ushered them away.

This was going to be the most exhausting mission yet.

* * *

"You are indeed an extraordinaire!" the interviewer praised Neji. "You have sold countless albums and your films have always been topping the charts!"

Neji maintained a cool and calm composure as he sat across the interviewer. He flashed a smile to the audience, and answered, "It's nothing compared to legends like Michael Jackson."

"So tell me, Neji, what's your secret to maintaining your popularity?"

Smirking, he turned to the camera and said slyly, "It is my fans. They are always there for me. I love them! Thank you so much for supporting me."

A couple of girls in the audience fainted.

"Well, what a sweet answer from Neji! It has come to the end of this episode! Thank you for coming here, Neji," the interviewer said, batting her eyelashes flirtingly.

* * *

"That was slick, Hyuuga," Sai complimented. "Real slick. You were toying with everyone in the studio."

The Hyuuga male's face turned hard. "Of course. I wanted it to end quickly. The interviewer was annoying."

Sai chuckled. "Sure she was. By the way, I have something important to tell you."

Tying his hair up into a ponytail, Neji plopped onto the sofa. "What?"

"Orochimaru was killed."

Suddenly, the Hyuuga's face broke into a smirk. "Really? How?"

Sai shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe some guy had a grudge against him."

He pondered over it carefully. "Truthfully, he had many enemies. But he always managed to avoid them."

"Maybe not this time. However, there is one thing that puzzles me," the artist scratched his head in confusion. "There was no evidence at the crime scene."

Neji's eyes widened in shock. "There must always be evidence in a crime scene; how can it not have?"

"That's for the police to figure out. You have lost a valuable pawn though. He was great in organising meetings. He had a lot of connections."

"There are always people who can do a job like him. You don't need to worry, I will deal with it tomorrow."

* * *

An officer knocked on Tenten's door. "Tenten-taichou, you are requested at the headquarters."

Tenten growled in annoyance. How dare Shikamaru disturb her working-out time. After putting the weights down, she sprayed some deodorant and headed to the headquarters office.

"Why would he want to call me so early in the morning?" she thought as she strolled down the hallway. When she reached the steel doors, she entered her code number in.

The steel doors slid open and Tenten walked into the humongous room. She sighted Shikamaru at the table. "Why did you call me for?"

Shikamaru stared at her with a grave expression. "Tenten, you are assigned to a mission."

Tenten groaned. "Again? Can't you let me rest for a while?"

However, Shikamaru ignored her and continued. "You are assigned to infiltrate Hyuuga Neji's base as a spy. Be his maid, his lover, whatever."

"Hyuuga Neji? That big-shot Hollywood star? What kind of base does he have?"

"He might be the mastermind to everything."

Tenten frowned. "That doesn't really help, but whatever. How should I kill him?"

At the moment, Shikamaru chuckled. "What do you think? Naruto is the client."

"So you are saying that I should kill him by some Ramen technique...?"

"Precisely."

Then, Tenten didn't know how deep of the trouble she had gotten in.

* * *

**Hey guys!**

**Exams are partially over, and in a week, you will expect to see more action from me!:D**

**This story is based on Jackal is Coming, a new Korean movie!**

**Sorry if it's really boring :X I will try to make it more interesting:D**

**Read and review! Review lots okay?;)**


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